Fighting

Right now I feel so down, because  I am fighting for my dreams. For other people it might seems like crap but for me is passion. My dad wanting me to be a person with a profession is really killing me. I am just keeping my mouth shut and biting my lips to remind me not to voice how I feel, what I think or my opinion because for them, anything defensive or trying to make them understand is talking back and disrespectful. I feel like just listen to him and just enroll myself to a med-school. And waste five years doing what he wants and get my degree in medic and frame it and hang it at home. And after that leave home to do what I want. Either way, I will face lots of challenge and come out stronger but I really has to taste the depth of hell to be myself and be happy. But for my dad having a highly paid job is essential in life. Anything that leads to a job that earn big bucks. I feel like throwing my life away. I am a coward anyway. For the first time I am actually fighting for my dream and feeling crushed if my dreams are taken away from me. Fear of loosing it and the possibilities of the dream becoming a nightmare is eating me up because nightmares are dreams that go wrong. If I follow my dad's will, I will be living a nightmare for the rest of my life. I don't want to be a doctor. If I would, I will do it for the right reasons such as 'I want to be a doctor because I want to make the world a better place' or 'I want to be a doctor because I want to find a cure for cancer'. The reason my dad's wants me to become a doctor is I think because every Indian family wants a doctor in the family to brag about. (This my bias and prejudice thinking). When I ask them why, they said because it is a respectable job, it earns lots of money and the unemployment rate is low. I need them to understand that I don't need lots of money to be happy. I just want to have a simple life and to the things I love like travelling, learning so skill on making coffee and cocktails or baking and cooking. Lastly to do what I am passionate about that is writing and inspiring people - my dream job. You must do things in great measures to see how far you can go and to live your life the fullest. =,)