Neon Lights

Neon Lights

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Acceptance & Forgiveness

I need to accept this and forgive myself. I already have the feeling that this is gonna effect me in some way. 'To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe'. - Anatole France. I want to act but I can't believe myself, I have a dream but I don't have a plan. 'Become a 'possibilitarian'. No matter how dark things seem to be or actually are, raise your sights and see possibilities. - Peale'. Anything can happen in this world. From me being dead right now to living up to 80 years old with endless possibilities that could go so right and so wrong. I need to accept and forgive myself for everything that is good and especially the bad. Why? So that I can move on and not letting my past haunt me in every way, decision and choice. Even as simple and being happy or sad. I need to be sad and scared right now because of my terrible disease of laziness that caused me to fail. But I am able to be calm and smiling in the dark or in the storm. I have made bad decisions in life that lead me to who I today but it doesn't mean I can't have a better tomorrow. I have faith, even though honestly my faith is only as big as a mustard seed but I will not know where it will get me, but hopefully to where I am meant to be. I have to face all the disappointments, anger, disbelief, criticism, sadness and much more due to my choice and decision. Not trying my best for it. The storm is made by me or meant for me in order to strengthen me? I am writing what I am feeling right now. Hopefully in 10 years when I read this post again, I will be able to get answers. Why did it happen? If this the outcome, why God did not stop me? All I can say right now is sometimes God's blessing comes in strange packages.

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